Film

We didn't have our manager at work today and several of the team weren't in either. By the afternoon the few that were in the office began emailing each other with ideas for films that ought to be made. The instigator of this game, r, was pitching a rom-com starring Jennifer Aniston. 

I offered a sci-fi blockbuster:

GAYLIEN (18)

In space, no-one can hear you, queen

Two space truckers (Sylvester Stallone, Mel Gibson) with nothing to do on their long-haul trips but pump iron and watch porn receive a garbled communication from a drifting space pod. The ship's computer ROGR (voiced by Clint Eastwood) decodes it: Somewhere Over The Rainbow. 

When the space pod's occupant (Peter O'Toole) is revived an alien (voiced by Alan Carr in a wordless language) emerges from within him and takes over the ship by hijacking the sound system, turning it in a 24-hour disco. Only the on-board synthetic life-form (Johnny Vegas), whose hearing circuit is malfunctioning, is immune. The alien also reprograms ROGR so it sounds like Judy Garland. 

The truckers become obsessed with a range of transvestite costumes and do not realise as the ship crashes into a space colony of macho clone workers (Bruce Willis).

Theme tune: An Illegal Gaylien (Sting)