Bean

It was the canteen's Christmas lunch today, so we went down early before it sold out. The food wasn't bad - a bit cold as usual, and the nut loaf was dry, but there were sprouts, Yorkshire pudding, swede mash, roast potatoes and mince pies for afterwards.

There were also crackers and tablecloths on the tables and a stereo in the corner playing Cliff Richard and other seasonal songs. 

We chose a table that looked liked it hadn't already had people eating there - the crackers were intact. I pulled mine with m and it cracked satisfactorily. Inside was my novelty: a dried baked bean and a plastic coffee stirrer.

A dried baked bean and a plastic coffee stirrer.

No joke.

I used the coffee stirrer to launch the bean at r as he came to sit down. It missed. We then spent lunchtime talking in the innuendoes that flicking the bean inspired.